Not Another Fairy Tale
AKA Fairy Tales According to Mike.
This is the story of my life (I meant that figuratively- the truth hurts too much) Wait, wait- let me try this again.
My name is Charlie Devon, I am a prince of Stonehaven- Dammit, I mean princess- no, I mean I am a girl who's idiot father named Charles (cause he wanted a prince- or son -or something) Wow that's a mess. Let me try this again.
My name is Charlie, I am Prince of Stonehaven, I am really a girl- I mean I am 22- so, maybe not really a girl, anymore. Anyway, this is the story of my life. I have a magic journal given to me by Ralph the Semi-stupendous, our court Wizard, that allows me to keep track of my adventures and thoughts as if I were safe at home writing them for our mutual pleasure instead of hiding outside a troll's cave in the rain...but that's another story. Speaking of which, does anyone know how to stone a troll? I thought I knew but apparently, it does not involve petrification.
Please join me and Max (he looks like that Flynn Ryder fellow), my best friend and consort Princess Jane- who I might add I heroically rescued from 2 dragons and a goblin contract. Grimm the Dwarf, my mentor and the moron who would be calling me a liar about now if he wasn't currently in the jailhouse with the rest of the Gang. We are out to slay dragons, dodge witches and avoid copyright lawsuits for ripping off other fairy tales in order to tell our own.
Once upon a time...
Yes, that's what I just said. It's required for every fairytale. It's like a law or something. So hush and stop rolling your eyes. You came here and now you will listen to my story.
Once upon a time, not so long ago and quite far away- although not as far as Far Far Away which is by the way not so much a direction as an actual kingdom. Yeah, I can totally see that you don't believe me
Fast Forward to the latest post:
I probably should've warned you.
"Uh, a couple of things, Charlie?" Ismie says after Sprogsgutton hits the wall and shatters into several hundred ceramic pieces.
"Yeah?' I say, not surprised that Ismie would recurse the gnome at this point.
"Devin doesn't know." Ismie sighs. "So, if you corner Ralph over this, it would be nice not to do it in earshot."
"I wasn't going to tell my father anything."
We watch the Garden Gnome put himself back together.
"Ralph on the other hand-"
"I have a thing for Ralph if you haven't noticed," Ismie says, "So please don't be too hard on him."
"I am not going to kill him," I say, "He is my father, technically speaking."
"You did punch King Dev in the gut," Ismie says.
"So, I could punch Ralph in the gut. That would be allowed?"
"I would advise against it. You don't want trouble with Wizards, even the ones who are your father."